Life's a bitch. Tell me something that i don't know.. geebus.
So I've got shit on the mind and honestly I would like ten minutes to myself to not worry about anything but my brain wants to worry about everything at the same time. Boys. Grades. Family. My sister. My friends. The kid that is typing way to loud. My migraine. The texts I have waiting. Everything. I can't think straight. I hate it. I hate being strong but at least I have someone to be strong for. Life wont let me slow down and maybe if it did then it wouldn't make sense. So my hectic makes sense? Crying on my bedroom floor makes sense of the cruel world outside my window? The songs on my iPod that seem to fit every emotion is making my life make sense? I find that highly unlikely. No one goes through the same motions someone else goes through. It's just not possible. No one knows my pain, similarities, yes those are very likely. But the exact same thing at the exact same time? Impossible.
I want my tattoo. Not because I want to join the endless band of kids at my school that have the ink to have it. No, I want it because it would be meaningful and it means hour after hour of pain that my body craves right now but I promise too many people that I wouldn't cut anymore. Plus, ink means more then a few cuts on the arm of a depressed girl.
I want my cousin to go out with my friend already. Because then I wouldn't feel like an idiot when I have to ask him whats going on with them because she is getting mixed messages.
I want to go home and scream every word to A Day to Remember in my room to scare my migraine out of me. Plus, they always make me feel better.
I want to belong to someone.
I want my dad to say I Love you.
I want to live for something.
I want this pleasure to always be pain, because then I will always know I am doing something right.
-K
