Been a long time... A lot of changes have happened since the good ol drama with those boys with little hope and a wrecking ball for a hand. A lot of physical changes and mental changes, none the less i will remember them always. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? But the things that do kill us... What do they do? Show us that we are weak? Or that we have no faith in the little things we begin to trust?
I graduated high school but it still feels like i'm there. it feels like everything i have done has just gone in to greater detail in the things that i began to change. Or better yet.. Thought i had changed... Guess everything is not what it seems. Anyway, high school graduation was full of cheers, tears, and a few too many beers but hey who can tell me how to live my life besides me. Just kidding. No drinking i just went along with the entire rhyming thing. But graduation was full of hooray's and boos for those we didn't want to lose. After all a chapter was closing and another just opening but many did not want to face the life without the comfort they had with them for four years. But life goes on and you find out who your friends are after the music and excitement is gone.. I lost a few friends that day. I lost my wife. My best friend. My right hand girl. She moved away to LA and i wish i could turn to her because I need her now more then ever... But I'm not the kind of person to hold her down by always turning to her although i really do need her. I lost some great friends. Some that had helped me through alot and got me through the rough patches. But some that stayed turned out to be way better then i expected.. which is a little scary. Lost some not so great guys but i had plenty in my life so letting go was not really a problem more a solution that i'm happy to have solved.
Back to the boys.... One of them is coming home and as much as i wanted to see him about 6 months ago right now i could honestly care less about it. I really couldn't give more of a damn. its just more drama i don't need. But i realized i don't need anyone to make me happy just myself and maybe a few friends to keep me sane along the way.but who knows maybe college will bring a new guy to my life.. and at the moment he can come in like two years because "im content with lonliness. because none of it was ever worth the risk"
So alot of changes and falls along the way but good bye is not always good bye.. it could be a very warming hello or a very daunting welcome to the future we are all scared to live in... But i think im ready to face it.. whether it be with someone or it be alone... I stand on my feet. and ill remember to always be INVINCIBLE.
