The Rain is washing you out of my hair...or so i thought

Its been awhile since i actually sat down and wrote something worth putting out to the world. Its the beginning of the year and i'm realizing more and more that each year starts and ends the same. Last year ended with the one guy that i had a crush on forever finally holding my hand and kissing me and telling me that he loved me and i couldn't believe that it was happening. It seemed perfect but the downfall was that he had to go back to the Midwest for school. And then a month later i found out that he cheated on me, so i cried like every girl who just got cheated on by the one guy that mattered, and i blamed myself for it. Saying that i wasn't good enough and that i deserved it. I got so mad at him and then he got depressed and told me that he didn't mean anything by it it was out of drunken rage.(officially hate drinkers). he told me that he still wanted to be with me and i almost went back to him because i really liked him and i really wanted things to work because he was the first guy in a long time that could make me smile and talk to me and not get bored. But i didn't but i still talk to him, everyday. He still says i love you and i say it back. I played a song chorus over and over in my head and i keep getting suck on the same words that he said to me that are in the same chorus. " I've done something so terrible im terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me im messed up ill be blunt... im so many thousands of feet off the ground im over you now im at home in the clouds where the rain is washing you out of my hair and out of my mind.." i miss him and i don't want to. hes the reason why i don't want a boyfriend anymore... </3 sorry to those i lead on, or hurt i know how it feels now and it sucks so bad.